My brother left this morning; it was really nice to see him, especially since he's leaving for law school later this week and I may not see him for quite a long time! Since he drove up, my mom gave him some home-cooked food for me. She is fully aware of my bizarre eating habits so took full advantage of this opportunity to pamper with me with needed nutrients.
It was so nice to eat some good food. However, there was a slight problem. I think my mom thinks I am retarded*.
She sent 3 tupperware bins of Indian curries. One bin of rice. And one of homemade yogurt. Each one was labeled with a post-it note. The three curries said "eat with rice." The rice said "heat in microwave." Only the yogurt was left unlabeled, for me to have my way with.
I love my mother. She is the bestest ever. But, uh, mom? I've been eating Indian food my entire life. I don't know what she thought I was going to do with it. Put all the curries together and do a rain dance then lap it up in a bowl like a dog? Then make sculptures out of the rice to display to my imaginary friends?
She's hilarious. Though I suppose she does know me well enough to know that I am an absolute imbecile when it comes to food. I'm probably going to give you all a little TMI, but I can't cook. Period. I tried to make pasta when I first came up here and I burned it. I burned pasta. How do you do that? I eat out all the time. If a meal isn't ready to eat, I will skip it. I won't make it myself. If I'm home and tired, and there is no dinner, I will skip the meal and buy some granola bars and donuts for breakfast. If food is ready in the refrigerator, there is a good chance that I won't even heat it up.
Yes, I know what you're thinking. How will this girl ever get married? The game plan is to marry a chef. Seriously. Do you know any?
Also, it's not just me. My Dad is the same way. Last year, my mom and brother had gone to India, and I was working in NYC. My mom had prepared all this food for my Dad and left it in (pre-labeled) tupperware bins in the refrigerator. He never opened the fridge for the week they were gone. He would just eat at work or pick up fast food.
It's not like I haven't tried to learn. Our senior year in college they had something like a crash course in kitchen knowledge or something like that. I signed up for it, but only went to one class out of five. I just couldn't deal. Though I did get an apron. Good stuff. I can wear it for Halloween.
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*Pardon the analogy; I tried to think of a more PC word but sometimes you have to just go for the tried and true.
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