bratty mcbrat

This afternoon on the radio, I heard the new Ashlee Simpson song "Shadow." I found the tune pretty catchy, but as I listened to the words, I got increasingly aggravated to the point where I decided if I ever meet Ashlee Simpson, I will smack her.

Basically, the song is about how she was always in the shadow of her older sister, the omnipresent Jessica Simpson. Boo-hoo, how sad. Your older sister got famous and your life sucked. Right. Your whole family got rich, you inherited a hot brother-in-law, and you rode her coattails to fame. I feel so bad for you. Here are some snippets from her song that particularly irked me:

"Somebody listen to me please, it used to be so hard being me."

"I was stuck inside someone else's life. And always second best. Oh I love you now. Cause now I realize that it's safe outside. To come alive."

"Mother, sister, father, sister, mother. Everything's cool now. Oh my life is good. I got more than anyone should. Oh my life is good. And the past is in the past."

Now, I'm really not a music aficionado. I hardly buy CDs, and I'm pretty content with whatever Top 40 is currently on the radio (or listening to my ABBA cd. If you don't love ABBA and have not seen Mamma Mia! yet then I think we might have to reevaluate bringing our friendship to the next level.) The point is I don't react as emotionally to music as I wish I could. So this afternoon's reaction was rare (but I thought nah forget, yo homes Bel Air!)

I don't like this Ashlee Simpson. Teeny bopper girls are buying her CDs by the thousands - she's been #1 on the music album sales for the last few weeks. It bothers me to think that the people buying her stuff actually relate (or at least, wish they could relate) to her problems. I remember being 13. Not a fun year, no siree (actually I think that could apply to any time between the ages of 8 to about 16). Young teenagers have a lot of issues, but somehow I think the burden of being the younger sibling of a pop star doesn't exactly serve as fair comparison. Of course they might relate to being in the shadow of an older sibling, but man. I'd trade in an inferiority complex to have that ridiculous lifestyle any day (or not, but you get my point).

So yes, stop this melodramatic nonsense all you teenage pop star mental vacuums. Except Avril Lavigne. I like her. Her songs have reasonable points - i.e., get off my bed, I'm not that kinda girl, etc.

In the same vein, here are some other song lyrics that annoy the living daylights out of me:

Destiny's Child - Bills, bills, bills. The line that says "Can you pay my automo-bills." Automo-bills? Automo-bills?! I get the rhyme, but whoa. I go postal every time I hear it.

The Lady Marmalade song from Moulin Rouge. Part of the chorus says "Mocha - choco - latta -dada." Don't even get me started.

On the flip side, some song lyrics crack me up. My favorite song lyrics ever are from the Mr. Vegas song Heads High. It's raunchy. And dirty. And straight-up old school dancehall reggae. If you're interested, here are the lyrics. They're a little hard to read, but if you get the jist of what the song is about, it'll crack you up. You will never be able to bump and grind to it again with a straight face.