tar-jay

Nothing like a day spent shuttling between Costco and Target in a Volvo station wagon. I doubt there is anything that can make a single person feel more lonely than spending time in an everyday-low-price superstore (EDLP, an actual term used by retail analysts, for those trivial-pursuiters out there). I'm sure my parents were disheartened that it was their 24-year old daughter contemplating whether to buy the Halloween Oreos with orange filling, rather than their non-existent grandchild.

It wasn't really that depressing though. How can you not love shopping at Target?! That place is so amazing. You can convince yourself of your need for any item that you come across. My dad bought an electric flosser. I treated myself to a super-absorbent hair towel. Each individual item is so inexpensive that you feel you are being quite frugal. And then when you check out, it is virtually impossible to comprehend how everything adds up to over $200.

They are building a Wal-Mart next door to the Target, and it should open sometime next year. Mind you this is in the same complex as Costco. It may be too much for me to handle. It is not an exaggeration to say that I go to Costco every time I am home. My parents go once a week, at least. It has gotten to the point that when we need milk at home, we do not go to the grocery store that is 5 minutes away. We head over to Costco. And our Volvo station-wagon? Newly purchased, with the express consideration of moving significant amounts of cargo from the nirvana of bulk shopping.

On the way home, we passed a man holding up a sandwich board advertising a new "Christian Operated Pest Control Service!"

Well, there's a doozy for you. First, I feel really bad for the people who have to hold up sandwich boards. I'm sure I sound overly saccharine in the Miss-America-I-Want-World-Peace sort of way, but whatever. That job sucks. It's one thing to be doing it on the streets of New York City. This poor man had to hold this sign up on the shoulder of a relatively busy intersection in the suburbs. That has to be taxing. I wish him a better job.

Second (and much more appropriate for directed sarcasm), a Christian Operated Pest Service? Are they better than non-Christian services? I guess a Muslim operated one would be a little too "Hey! Look at me!" a propos the Patriot Act. What kind of services would this Christian company offer? Baptism before fumigation? Little confession booths for the ants? Oh no, I'm laughing out loud at the mental image I've provided for myself. If you haven't figured it out yet, I am the type of person who laughs at my own (often unfunny) jokes, before I can even say the punchline.

Apologies if I've managed to offend any Christians. Don't worry though, we're all people of the book .... People of the book, join hands!