in suburbia

I love the suburbs. And the Pet Shop Boys. In a few years, I shall be the woman in the large SUV who can’t drive. A soccer-mom in training.

Two weeks ago it was tax-free week in New York. Yet another excuse for me to go shopping. So I went to the gravitational center of Long Island – and all of suburbia for that matter. The mall. You need to mentally brace yourself before entering such a place; it is just utter madness.

Too many teeny-boppers. Too many kids with unlimited access to their parents’ credit cards. I found myself in the eye of the storm when I went to the denim department at Bloomingdales. My goodness. What a scene. I thought it slightly disturbing to see 13 year olds buying $150 jeans that revealed more than they covered. They were so young -- the insanity! What happened to the days when your parents took you shopping at 13 and spending more than $30 on a pair of jeans seemed ridiculous?

Oh, and what is this new trend of tube top dress things? I saw a very cute one, but I thought it was a skirt. I couldn’t figure out why it looked so funny as a skirt until I saw a girl wearing it as a dress. Man oh man.

Seeing so many young girls together reminded me of the movie “Mean Girls.” I thought about a group of my girlfriends at that age. We certainly had our shares of fights and backstabbing, but it was so unbelievably petty when I reflect on it.

I distinctly remember one practical joke we used to pull on each other. Back in the day, if you called the Tampax 800 hotline, you could request a free sample of tampons to be sent to you. We used to call up and request samples sent to whichever girl was not in favor that week, in order to embarrass her. I can’t believe we thought that was clever. Or mean. Or even funny. I don’t know what we were thinking!

This past weekend I went to visit a friend of mine in DC, which was fun. One night, we were all in a car parallel parking, and the driver was having a hard time getting into the spot. My friend volunteered to fix the parking job. As he was fixing it, he went a little too fast and rammed into the car behind us. Where a rather large gentleman was sitting in the driver’s seat. It was the kind of moment where everyone freezes and says “Oh damn, this could get ugly.” Fortunately though, no damage done. Good thing, because I didn't want to whip out my can of whoop-ass. That's right. I did Tae-Bo. No, I’m just kidding. But boy did I love those Billy Blanks infomercials.

In other news, I am stuck in the middle of an awful book. I'm progressing at the rate of about 2 pages a day, but I can't bear the thought of not finishing it. At this rate, it may take a year to complete it. That being said, I need a really good book to follow this one in order to erase the pain. Any suggestions?

I’m headed back to Cambridge this week. I need to get me a jobby job.