my nerves, they are a-fried

I'm in the process of receiving "secondary" applications from most of the schools that I applied to. This is basically a blatant ploy for medical schools to steal even more money from poor, bright-eyed prospective medical students. The schools ask you to answer some very bland questions to supplement your common application. General questions include:

1) Tell us why you want to attend [Insert Name Here] Medical School.

This is a requisite copy and paste of nonsense from the school's website. Do you think the response: "Because I HEART NY" would be an appropriate answer for the 8 schools in NYC I am applying to?

2) If you have taken time off since college, please write a separate essay explaining what you did in your time off.

Dammit, stop wasting my time and read my freaking original essay in which I discuss this point ad nauseum.

3) If you were ever the subject of academic or legal disciplinary action, please write a separate essay describing these events.

Heh, me soo crazy! Me wanna go med school to smoke the ganja and get some neeeedlz. Needlz. Yeah yeah needlz.

I forgot to mention the most important part. You have to send each school a check for something on the order of $75 for them to even look at it. Oftentimes, they will get your check and two days later you will get a message that says:

Thank you for your interest in [Jerk Medical School]. Please don't take this rejection as an offense, but we don't have room to interview you. We're sure you're smart. But obviously not that smart because we got your $75 sucka!

So yes, secondaries. Not fun. I just got an e-mail for a secondary from one of my schools. Cut and paste directly from the e-mail:

"The required browser for this site is Netscape. IE is not a supported browser for this application. We also recommend using a PC versus a MacIntosh. You will be able to make payment for this application using PayPal, an on-line transaction service."

Netscape? Who the hell uses Netscape? That is so, like, 1995. And Paypal, great. Why don't you just SELL your open slots for med students on E-bay?