martha's jailyard

Martha Stewart wrote a letter to her supporters from prison. She said that she is very busy, and that prison camp is "like an old-fashioned college campus -- without the freedom, of course." She also requested her supporters not to send any more gifts or money to her in jail.

Ahem. People were sending Martha Stewart MONEY IN JAIL? Money? People? People giving their money to her? She is worth hundreds of millions of dollars! Let's think about who would be sending Martha money. Logically, it would be people who have more money than she does, correct? Somehow I doubt that Bill Gates, the Sultan of Brunei and Oprah are sending Martha envelopes with nail files and five dollar bills. On the contrary, it is probably Mr. and Mrs. Amos and Anita Johnsonsmithklinebeecham from Oklahoma feeling sorry for Ms. Stewart all alone without any pies and ribbons to keep her busy.

Not that I have anything against Martha. It's quite the opposite; I think she's pretty freaking cool for turning the art of homemaking into a billion dollar business. And yes, insider trading is bad. Very bad. But for real, I think she was turned into a scapegoat during an era of corporate malfeasance.

From my brief affair with the world of investing, I realized that what can and cannot be considered insider information is highly subjective. Where is the line drawn? If Sam Waksal told me his drug wasn't getting approved, you bet I would've sold without thinking twice. If insider information were really that bad, Warren Buffet would've been in jail years ago. Did you know that all the big-wig CEOs go to Omaha, Nebraska to seek Warren's advice over a piece of steak? It's true. Martha did. And do you think Warren does this for free? Yeah right. And you wonder why Berkshire Hathaway is the most amazing thing ever. Information is worth the price of a steak.

To be fair, insider trading is not the reason Martha is doing time at Shawshank, but I still think it is worth clarifying. She shouldn't have lied to the Feds. Probably inhaled too much baking powder.

She may write a book from prison. That'd be interesting. Why write a book though? Don't you think it would make the freaking best reality TV show? I'm sure they could wing it with the networks. I would watch it for sure.