flashing back

I arrived in Cambridge today. I can't lie. It feels weird. I am disoriented without the community that I created while I was here. Am I an imposter? Shouldn't I be done with my time here?

I think it's best to recount the day as it unfolded. I decided to take the Chinatown Bus to Boston, but did not buy a ticket beforehand. Noone will be in line for a 7:00 AM bus on a Sunday morning, I reasoned.

Wow. Was I surprised. The 7:00 AM was sold out, as was the 8:00 (on both lines). So I waited for a bit until the 9:00 AM. Right behind two big Russian guys who kept blowing smoke into my face and in front of a girl and her friend who decided to not so quietly pass judgement on the looks of most everyone in line. But the time passed.

I attempted to sleep to no avail. In the row in front of me, a girl pulled out an organic chemistry textbook and her molecular model set. Oh the irony. The boy sitting next to her used this to intiate a conversation about orgo. "Which textbook do you use? I use a different molecular set which helps you visualize the orbitals more easily."

I felt old. And scared ... I can't even remember how orbitals work. How am I going to start a class in organic chemistry tomorrow morning? The last time I took a science class was 7 years ago!

But the ride went smoothly and here I am, in Cambridge. It is packed to the brim with summer school students and their parents. These kids are all in high school. I almost feel bad for them, reflecting on what I know now. After learning that life after college just isn't that much fun, I wish I could tell these kids to stop preparing themselves ad nauseum to get into Ivy League schools.

I'm sure Summer School will be a nice experience for them ... but go travel instead! Take a painting class. Watch TV all day and eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I can't remember anything I learned in my classes in school (hence the do-over, I suppose) ... but still ... college courses during your summers in high school? To be brutually honest, I hope they don't think they have a better chance of getting into Harvard because they take these summer classes. If anything, it will just accelerate their burnout once they get to school.

Do I sound bitter? Let's just see how tomorrow pans out. I tried to buy a notebook today and nearly had an anxiety attack deciding over the various options. Heavyweight, college ruled, narrow ruled, 1-2-3 subject ... Oy. I got way too used to using legal pads and scraps of paper working for The Man. Oh, and I didn't actually end up buying one. I think I might just write on the backs of any handouts they give out. That's one aspect I picked up in the real world that I can't force to backtrack.

I miss New York already.